she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
