Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
