Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
