one two three fourrrrnication!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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