Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Randomize
