You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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