This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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