NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
you never un-have a 4some
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
