What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
