im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
