how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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