Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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