if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize