What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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