I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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