I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
