i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
