did you get engaged???
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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