I want to stick my p in your. b.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
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