Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
