Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
