yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
