So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
the condom got lost in my hair
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
