I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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