just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
