They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
