ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
