my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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