she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I will pee on everything he values.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
