Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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