Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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