Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You ate ashes out of my bong
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
