oh god the rape fog is back!
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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