what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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