its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
