I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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