It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
