You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
