walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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