We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
