anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
