She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
