he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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