im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
