census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
you mean i was at the winter classic?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
