Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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