i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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