Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Randomize
