They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
