Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
