I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
