Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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