Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
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