You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize