So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
