i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
