It's Friday. Sex?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
