I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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